


i don't want to live this life without you

by bcfictionalboysarebetter



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Best Friends, Confessions, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 10:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11229054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bcfictionalboysarebetter/pseuds/bcfictionalboysarebetter
Summary: They hadn't talked about it, the hug. Jemma had absolutely no idea what to think about it, really. She's was so confused, more confused than she's ever been.This is Fitz, her best friend, her partner, the one person who means more than the entire world. She can't just decide to be in love with him, not after she broke his heart, not after she just left him. She can't just change her mind, not after he's finally getting better, he means too much to her, she can't be selfish, not with him, never with him.**OR**Jemma realizes that she can't deny her feelings anymore.





	i don't want to live this life without you

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a long time ago, I honestly can't remember when anymore. I was too chicken to post it because I can never post anything without completely freaking out. I honestly just found this a couple of days ago in my old drafts and decided, what the hell?  
> Hope y'all like it.  
> The title is from the song Without You by Parachute

They were not even 2 feet from each other, but she might as well be in another dimension, it's not like he'd notice if the space-time continuum suddenly split in apart and threw her into another universe, because Fitz just stood there and wouldn't even look at her, as she watched him.

  
She'd been working. She was supposed to be working, but for the past few minutes, she's just been standing there, staring at him as he looks at the documents in front of him.  
They hadn't talked about it, the hug. Jemma had absolutely no idea what to think about it, really. She's was so confused, more confused than she's ever been. _This is Fitz, her best friend, her partner, the one person who means more than the entire world. She can't just decide to be in love with him, not after she broke his heart, not after she just left him. She can't just change her mind, not after he's finally getting better, he means too much to her, she can't be selfish, not with him, never with him._ She thinks to herself.

  
She looks up and he's there, his blue eyes are looking at her with worry, the brightness is such a contrast to the dark brown of her own. Her heart drops from her chest, and for a moment, she stops thinking about anything in particular, she just stares at him, and wonders when he became what she wants for herself.

  
She kisses him.

  
At first he's completely startled, and he just stands there stiffly, but then his hands come up to her face, cradling her head as he pulls her closer. She gasps softly, his mouth is so soft, and that was something she wasn't expecting, her stomach was churning slowly, and she had no idea what was happening to her. She seemed so different all of the sudden, like she couldn't control her emotions, or how he's affecting her.

  
She wrapsd her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. It was exhilarating, and for the life of her, she's amazed it took her this long to kiss him. He tangled his fingers into her hair, his hands were shaking slightly, and she places her hands over his, steadying them as she pulls away, just far enough to look into eyes. She's breathing heavily, her nose rubbing against his, their foreheads resting together.

  
He's looking at her with confusion and amazement on his face, deliriously happy. "Jemma," he scratches out, his voice hardly above a whisper. "Why did you do that?"

  
"I don't know. I don't know. I just kept thinking about that damn hug and how much I didn't want to lose you, how I can't lose you. I kept telling myself over the last few days how I can't be selfish with you, because I've already hurt you, so much, and I couldn't do it again. I couldn't be damage you any more than I already have."  
"Damaged me? Jemma, you never damaged me, you saved me, without you, I wouldn't be standing here right now. You-"

  
"I wouldn't be alive either!" She pulls away from him, running her hands through her hair. "I would have been dead! You. Saved. Me. And not a day goes by that I don't hate you for that."

  
"Wha-what do you mean?"

  
"You didn't even give me a chance! You just pushed that damn button and you didn't even think about me! You didn't think about How it would affect me, living without you. How could you just press that button and expect me to go on, like the world was completely the same, without you in it? You are the most amazing person I have ever met, and I have no idea how you've never seen that. I have always thought that you were ten times better than anyone else. How could you just expect me to act like not having you next to me, every second of every day, would not kill me?"

  
"Jem..." he's watching her with wide eyes, uncertainty written on his features.

  
"I love you." She breathes out.

Her eyes are filled with tears, and suddenly she's wrapped up in him, his hands cradling her head. He pulls her to him, and his mouth crashes against hers. She moans as he kisses her fiercely, her mouth opening, welcoming the warmth. She runs her hands over the top of his curls, pulling him as close as possible. Fitz's mouth cascades down her cheek to her shoulder and up again. She's laughing, almost giddy as he kisses her all over her face, quick little pecks and longer lingering ones. In between each kiss he's murmuring her name against her skin. Jemma, it echoes, before returning to her lips. He stops, his mouth against hers and he mutters, "I love you."

  
She kisses him again, one full of emotion and passion before she pulls away, and hugs him close to her. "I think we still have a lot to talk about, there are things that we haven't discussed yet, and I don't want to rush this. I don't want us to just throw ourselves into this, because this is the most important thing to me." Jemma whispers softly. 

  
"I don't care about rushing anything. I want to throw myself into this. I want you, in every possible way. I don't...care about waiting or what we haven't discussed or not. You are finally here in front of me, and I'm-" he runs his hands up and down her arms, his forehead resting on hers. "I'm finally able to touch you, like this. I don't care about the risks. I don't, so don't you dare-"

  
And she cuts him off, pressing her lips to his.

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out with me on [tumblr](http://commandermcgarretts.tumblr.com/)


End file.
